degrees of separation - circles in the sky
by Liquid Fire KAN
Summary: Doodling on his math test, he remembers her shitty drawings. And then he looks at the test paper. Zero equals two pi - life had never seemed less bleak. He would meet her again. "Let's hope this isn't the last time we see each other."


**Disclaimer: **BLEACH and all trademarks are the sole and rightful property of Kubo Tite and Shueisha Publishing.

**Summary: **_Doodling on his math test, he remembers her shitty drawings. And then he looks at the test paper. Zero equals two pi - life had never seemed less bleak. He would meet her again. "Let's hope this isn't the last time we see each other."_

**A/N: **Math has been fucking with my life in ways it never has before. And so I've been trying to retaliate by procrastinating on homework, and writing this instead. I concede defeat.

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Math homework is monotonous he decides and it doesn't make a whole lot of sense either. It's just numbers on a page. Number after number after number – and what's worse is it doesn't make sense; gibberish.

But, nonsensical and bad was better than logical and bad. Because if something was nonsensical and bad, he could pretend it didn't exist – when something made sensed, he was forced to accept it. In a way, he already had. Ichigo scowls. It wasn't as though he had much of a choice. And then, he sighs. He never had a choice.

Turning back to the squiggly lines on paper, Ichigo takes a deep breath, and starts the night's tedious homework. It seems to be the beginning of a never-ending cycle.

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**degrees of separation – circles in the sky**

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**60 degrees; fear**

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The tattoos adorning much of his forehead and now parts of his chest have always made him appear more menacing. He sees it in the faces of his subordinates – they are afraid of him.

Part of him is proud; that was his goal. He had wanted to be scary. But not scary per say – he had wanted to be strong. As a child growing up in the unsettling 78th district, he supposes that scary had somehow translated its way to strength. Back then the grown-ups looked very scary. Looking back upon those memories, he realizes that true fear is something entirely different, because it's different now – he's lived.

Though he's technically dead, he's lived. In those small moments, between him and her, and him and his captain, and him and the blasted ryoka, he's been alive. So he can understand why the boy is afraid – terrified even. He wonders if the boy will ever wake to face such a doomed reality, and eventually, at his own pace, the boy does indeed awaken.

After a month, the boy finally awakens. He is excited, because he wants to see if it's the same. The boy has to be afraid as well. Otherwise, all the tattoos on his forehead would have been for nothing – nothing at all.

Because if the ryoka is not afraid, then he is just pathetic – he is weak unless the ryoka is afraid too. So when Rukia tells him that he cannot come to bid the boy farewell, he is miffed to say the least, at being deprived such an opportunity.

That morning, his tattoos look even more fearsome against his scowling face. He cringes, because truthfully he is afraid. In that moment he feels a part of him die.

The boy has to be afraid. Because if he wasn't afraid: "Fuck."

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**45 degrees; of understanding, of acceptance, and of facades**

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From the corner of his eye, he glances at Kurosaki, not wanting to appear in the least bit concerned. They were rivals – simple; and they were not supposed to feel anything for one another. But he finds it difficult to look away today.

There is something he hadn't been expecting – understanding. Behind the fear, and sadness, and longing in Kurosaki's eyes, there was understanding.

And more so than understanding, there is acceptance. He is a man of many facades so he can see that clear as day. There is acceptance. As his rival acts jovial, he can see that much. But he closes his eyes and plays along.

His rival has not yet revealed his façade, so he will not reveal his – and eye for an eye, a tit for a tat, friend to friend. He will not speak. Once, the almost silent word is uttered, there is nothing he can say.

"Bye…" is too final for him. Never before has he hated façades as he does now.

He can only hope that they do not destroy him. From the corner of his eye, he notices Inoue-san. Instead of staring discreetly, he follows her openly. He cannot fool anyone any longer – not even himself. Looking at his rival, he is glad because he cannot fathom being like that – dead but alive, awake but not conscious, there, but not.

The motions are just a façade and Ishida longs so badly to pull his rival away from that.

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**180 degrees; abnormal**

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It annoys him how even Ishida has been looking at him strangely lately.

A wallflower – that's what he wants to be – a fucking wallflower. He wonders if that's too much to ask for. After everything that has happened, he thinks it is. No one will forget him, and he will never forget – not one detail. "Oi, Kurosaki!" Ichigo turns around and punches the bastard in the face. It's in his being – he can see it everywhere; there is his physical strength for one. Normal teenagers cannot just knock guys out like that.

Then again, he was never normal.

"Oi, Kurosaki! How dare you punch Mamushi-san, you punk?" Cracking his neck, Ichigo sighs. Abnormal had an upside.

He had liked being abnormal. Without his powers he was just… His fist connected with a jaw. Normal was abnormal.

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**359 degrees; not home yet**

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She felt guilty that she was relieved. But she was relieved because he would not get hurt anymore, and that was enough to redeem her – "Isn't it?" she wonders aloud as she walks home in the rain. If she is grateful for his wellbeing, then she is not selfish, is she? No – but she is not selfless either, because she realizes (though no one else realizes that she does), that his safety and her sanity are mutually intact.

If he is hurt, then she is gone – just like that time…

A bar blows its horn, and she jumps back startled. Clumsy, she berates – she is far too clumsy, and too weak; far too weak.

Her umbrella lying broken nearby on the ground, she sits on the hard pavement and lets the rain drench her for a while. Finally, the steady pouring of water ceases to be suddenly. Inoue looks up and blinks. "Huh? Kurosaki-kun, what're you doing out here in the rain?"

"I could ask you the same thing. You should go home, you'll get sick otherwise."

In his voice (hoarse from weeks of disuse), there's a forced concern – forced, but nonetheless there. Butterflies in her stomach erupt – he is concerned for her despite… "Kurosaki-kun, where did you get those bruises?"

"Ah, these?" he points at his bleeding face, "Nowhere really… Don't worry about it. I'll be fine. Come on, I'll walk you home."

Despite herself, she obliges. As she walks she realizes that mutually intact does not mean what she had thought it did once upon a blue moon. He has always been strong for her, never her for him. It was never mutual – just dependence.

He looks like a lost puppy, and she can never lead him back home – he lets her off at her place and saunters off. Tomorrow, he will probably come with more injuries. And because she cannot think with him injured, she can never save him.

She can never save him, because he has already been saved. As always, she can only stare at her brother's portrait in a moment of complete weakness and pray that he is saved again. He needs his saviour – he does not need her.

A tear trickles down her cheek. The patter of raindrops connecting the heavens and the earth come to a deafening halt.

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**270 degrees; planning**

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He's been skipping class lately. So has Ichigo. It's not a good habit for either of them, but he figures if he's going down, it's god to go down with his best friend. It's good to go down for his best friend because that wouldn't be considered going down at all really – just being a good friend. Sado wanted to be a good friend and he especially wanted to be a good friend to Ichigo, because Ichigo had always been a good friend to him – from day one.

He only hoped that his plan would work.

Ginjo Kugo smiled sinisterly in the background. Sado shuddered. It would have to work; for Ichigo's sake, it would have to work.

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**360 degrees; completely zero**

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A promotion, her brother's acceptance – everything she's ever wanted has just fallen into her reach and into her arms. Had she been the same person she was a couple decades ago, her euphoria would have been tangible. Now, her mood just falls flat entirely because none of what she accomplished is because of her and because the person who did everything is gone.

Everything is falling into place, and she feels like a lost puppy trying to find its way home. Her home is supposed to be here – in soul society.

Everyone is here, but she is not. She is still there. From the moment she set foot into his world, she had always been there.

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Math still sucked. Ichigo doodled on his test – still incomplete. There was no point. He didn't want this existence, he would admit that much. He hated this existence – loathed it with every fibre of his nonexistent being.

There was no feeling anymore. No connection – he was cut off from everything, and from everyone, and from her. He smiled sadly; he could still remember her silly drawings. They sucked. Just like math. He glanced at the test before him idly: Determine the value of sine 360. How in the fuck was he supposed to know, and why the fuck did he care?

Easy – he didn't know, and he didn't care. He just wanted back to the beginning – he wanted a fucking do-over. That wasn't too much to ask for; he had saved the world, hadn't he? A fucking redo wasn't much to ask for.

But he would never get one… he could never go back to the beginning… never…

He scrawled a circle onto the math test and stared at it as a soft smile came over him. Sine 360 was the same as sine 0 – back to the beginnings.

Smiling and despite himself, Ichigo scrawled a small zero onto the page. He would see her again – there was no way he wouldn't.

As he drew circles on his math test, the clouds drew circles in the sky.

He would just have to wait a bit.

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**a million degrees; reboot**

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"Gimme that sword, shinigami," the girl smiled.

"It's not shinigami, it's Kuchiki Rukia."

"Feh," the boy grinned coyly, "My name's Kurosaki Ichigo."

"Well then, Kurosaki Ichigo, let's both hope that this isn't the last time we meet one another." And the blade of fate swung down.

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**null degrees; restart**

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"Rukia!" his eyes widen.

"Long time no see, Ichigo." She smiles at him and he smiles back. _That's right; I knew that we would meet again._

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**fin**

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**A/N: **I have nothing to say except: Please excuse my insanity. Pretty please with cookies on top – I promise I won't attack you.

**~ Liquid Fire KAN**


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